How To Be A Good Mom?

The fact that you are already asking this means that you are already a good mom/mum because you care. We don’t have a rule book on what we need to do to be a good mom unfortunately. We are all so different that this would be impossible.

As mums we constantly question ourselves and wonder if we are a good mom and how we can be a good mom? It can be the smallest things that trigger our doubt or worry.

When things go wrong or not to plan our first instinct is to take the blame and think I should be a better mom.

We have to remember that there is no perfect mom and there is no one way to be a mom.

The million dollar answer is simple….

A good mom is one that strives to be the best she can be. If she makes mistakes it doesn’t matter, she dusts herself off and starts again knowing that she has learnt from it.

A good mum doesn’t have perfect children, she has children that have been taught right from wrong and know they will always have her love and support.

A good mom will always put her children first but understands the importance of making time for herself.

9 Top Tips To Be A Good Mom

1. Be Yourself – Don’t Compare!

In the world we live in today with social media and celebrities everywhere it is so easy to trawl through our instagram accounts looking at other mums and thinking, ‘I wish I was like that’ or ‘Why doesn’t my little one do that’. We can’t get away from it!

The time has come to stop and take a few moments whenever you do that. Are you thinking that because they have a nice outfit that you like? or are you saying that because from a photo it appears like they are super happy and mum goals?

I have learnt that it is so important that I release the inner critic we all have and make sure that I know that I am doing my best at being a mum and ultimately thats all that matters.

We are all designed to be different, babies are too. We can’t all Mum or Mom in the same way else there would be a step by step guide on how to be a good mom.

Its important to embrace our differences and the way we do things because our unique way of being a mum makes us and our children happy.

When it comes to our little ones, especially with your first baby it is so easy to compare. You will see other babies sitting up, crawling, walking and eating before yours and think to yourself why? Their mum must be so much better or be doing things differently.

Eventually you will find that 99% of the time this is not the case and it most always just comes down to the baby.

Please know that you are brilliant, know that your little one is on their own personal path. You are great just as you are, there is no need to be like anyone else.

2. Trust Your Instincts

You know what is best for your children, no one else! Don’t ever question your instincts.

I used to do this so much and sometimes I still do for a few seconds but then I think what am I doing?! I love my children endlessly and I will always do what is best for them. Why am I even questioning myself?

We all have that gut feeling that will instantly tell us when something doesn’t feel right or when we need to take action. It’s so easy to ignore that feeling and think ‘Naaa im over thinking’ but in fact its far better to over worry and be right than not worry at all.

Some of us instantly get that maternal instinct as soon as our baby is born, some it takes a while until it arrives.

Our maternal instincts are our mum super power! Let’s Embrace it, Trust it, Act on it!

3. Take Time For Self Care

Taking some ‘You’ time is 100% the last thing we naturally think about doing as mums. We will and do always put our littles ones and family first, its just how we function.

Now im not asking you to not do that, gosh that would be crazy! But what I think as mums we should all do is take some ‘us’ time.

This ‘us’ time does not have to be huge but its about having some time that’s just for us to think, relax and recharge.

Its so important that as mums we are on our ‘A’ game but how can we be if we never look after ourselves?

The saying I always and will always come back to is ‘Happy Mum, Happy Baby’. If we make time for ourselves then as mums we are happy and healthy and in turn our little ones will be.

What I like to do is read a book, have a nice relaxing bath, listen to a podcast that makes me laugh, paint my nails, curl my hair in the morning etc. All these little things don’t take long but they make me feel good and happy.

Also make time for you and your partner. Just because you are a mum doesn’t mean you should forget quality time with your partner. Schedule a date night and enjoy having a couple of hours without the children to just be a couple together.

4. Listen, Talk, Communicate

I think this has to be one of the most important ones for me. A recent example I read about really stood out to me and I felt really sad. Sad for the child and sad for the Mum.

A lady was at an outdoor swimming pool and she noticed a mum with her little girl. The women was stunning with not a hair out of place. She was wearing matching swimming costumes with her daughter and they had a bag of fun toys to play with.

The next thing the mum did was get out her phone instead of enjoyed time with her little girl. The mum then went on to stage this lovely scene with toys in the pool and smiling with her little girl whilst filming herself on her phone.

The sad part is that throughout this the little girl was asking if her mum would play with her, asking if they could go swimming? asking is she could play with the toys.

Instead of playing or even listening the mum took all the toys out and told the girl to get out of the water as she had finished filming and taking her instagram pictures.

I get that it can be constant sometimes with ‘Mummy’ being shouted every 2 mins throughout the day. However, we have to learn to listen so that we can understand what our little ones want and need.

Its so important that our children feel they can come and talk to us. Whether it be happy times, when they are having fun but also when they are sad or just need a cuddle.

Listen, Talk and communicate! This has to be the winning combination of not only being a good mom but in general.

5. Be Realistic!

Lets be honest with ourselves, we can’t do everything! Even if we would like to its just impossible. Sometimes I see instagram posts of mums with spotless homes and pristine hair and make up and I used to think WOW I want to be like that.

Then reality hits and I think ‘Come on lets not be silly here’.

My first job is being a mum, I don’t want to think that the only way I can be a good mum is if I have a spotless house and all the washing is always done. If that’s the case then wow I’m a huge failure!

I set my expectations on my happiness. Are my boys smiling and happy? YES. Are my boys loved and have lots of cuddles? YES! Do I give my boys enough attention so they feel important and loved? YES! Have I fed my children today? YES!

For me these are my realistic mum goal exceptions of daily life. As long as my boys are happy then I am forever winning.

6. Remember Its Ok To Fail

I say this for both for mum and children. When something doesn’t go to plan or we forget to do something that needed to be done we can feel like a failure. You know what? that is ok! Every single one of us will fail, forget or make a mistake at some point.

The important thing is to learn from it and get back up and start again. Its also great for our children to see us doing that as it will teach them that its ok not to get things right all the time.

Also its important to think the same way about our children. If they do something wrong, fail at something they were doing or forget lets not get angry or tell them off.

Children are learning so much all the time, they are like little sponges absorbing everything around them. We want them to make mistakes, we want them to fail. This is crucial in learning how to jump back up and keep going.

7. Less Is More – Children Like Simple

I have found that sometimes planning these big days out and having packed weekend schedules just does not work. Sometimes we look on social media or at our family and friends and what they do and think ‘Gosh we should be doing that’.

However do you know what? children don’t want super fancy, they just want simple play time. Yes of course it is lovely to have a special treat of visiting a theme park for a weekend or the seaside for example but it doesn’t need to be all the time.

Maybe a nice walk to your local park or a visit to your local coffee shop for a piece of cake treat. I love just going for a 15 minute walk where we live. I take the pram with my littlest in and my eldest will scoot or go on his bike. It’s a winner because we are all getting fresh air and it feels like we are doing something.

It’s the small special moments that your children will remember.

Keep things simple and don’t feel like you have to do everything. Ultimately your children just want to be around you.

8. Make Sure You Have Quality Time Together

This may sound really simple but for me spending quality time with my boys playing has a huge impact on how I feel.

It’s so easy to be consumed by the television or our phones. I try and make a conscious effort to have quality time with both boys where my phone is out of reach and I just play.

My eldest is 5 now and he loves nothing more than playing with Mummy and Daddy. We play dinosaurs, cars, lego etc and its lovely to be able to spend even 30 minutes at a time just watching and interacting with him.

I feel so good after that we had that special time together and that he feels like he has my full attention.

Don’t get me wrong this does not happen all day but throughout the day. I will make sure I have pocket of playtime with both boys.

9. Get Organised & Plan

The time when I am stressed or have less patience is when I know I have loads of things I need to do and I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes my patience is limited and I always feel so guilty afterwards.

To help make sure this doesn’t happen as much I have been getting organised and planning at home. I find that this really helps me know what things I need to do that day so that it doesn’t feel like an overwhelming list.

The areas that I am keeping organised and planning are

Family Meal Prep

I find it makes me much happier when myself and my husband know what we are having for dinner that day. I hate having to try and rack my brains thinking about what I can feed the family! Having an easy meal planner that I put on the kitchen cupboards is a winner all round.

Weekly To Do List, Split by Day

Every week I write out what I need to get done that week. It can be anything from school homework for my eldest, batch cooking food for my littlest, clothes washing or posting something at the post office. I then split it by day so I know the must do tasks I need to complete that day.

Food Shopping List

I am currently using two things to update my food shopping list for the week that is super helpful.

Amazon Alexa

We have the Alexa Echo Show in our kitchen and the Alexa Echo Dot in our living room. Whenever I think of something we need throughout the week I just say ‘Alexa, add toothpaste to my shopping list’ for example. Then when I am doing the food shopping either online or in store I have my list all ready for me.

iPhone Notes

I find adding a list to my notes as and when I think of a new item for my shopping list super easy and helpful. Sometimes when I am out and about things pop into my head so its so convenient to add to my phone notes without any hassle.

If I am organised and have a plan each week I feel like I have my SH*T together. This makes me feel so much better and like I have got this no problem.

How To Be A Good Mom Round Up

Motherhood is a rollercoaster! We will have great days but also bad days and this is ok. Lets just go with the flow and believe in yourself that you can do it!

Remember you don’t have to do this alone. If you need support or want to ask for help don’t feel ashamed just go for it! People will want to help and support you because they are wanting you to succeed.

Keep you as a priority in your long list, you are important and you are still the same person even though you are a mum. Schedule some fun with the girls or date night with your partner. Have this time to remember who you are and know that you are doing an excellent job.

If you fail don’t worry, get back up and learn from it every day. It can be anything from school homework for my eldest in early childhood education.

Remember you are loved incredibly by your little ones, to them you are a mum superstar! Don’t underestimate yourself! You are a mom that rocks!

Sharing is caring!

Leave a Comment